Critique-LIT

“YOU!?” came the startled cry from a 14-year-old brunette in the foyer of the large Blue Waters smarthouse. In front of her stood another brown-haired 14-year-old teen who grinned back at his cousin. The boy in question was slightly taller than Rachel and had short, medium brown hair and wore a pair of athletic shorts, a t-shirt, and a thin quarter-zip pullover. Harlan Hughes laughed as Rachel’s jaw dropped in pleasant surprise. “Hey Rach! What’s up?” he asked as the brunette embraced him while a 13-year-old dark blonde girl appeared from behind him. “Harlan, you said you’d help unload the ca

Stay Way From Sweets! “Mom and Aubrey are back! Come on Riles!” cried a little girl’s voice as she raced down the stairs in her family’s modern smarthome. She was followed by a taller girl with light brown hair tied back. “You know they just went to get groceries right Chloe?” the older girl laughed as her sister gave her a deadpan look. “I know. Aubrey told me over the phone she picked up some more of my favorite hard candy! It’s berry flavored too!” Riley held back a grin remembering her younger sister’s love for candy. Especially Hardy’s Hard Candies & More. Typical fo

That's A Wrap! 3rd POV: The screen starts to shake and a clicking sound is heard. “You sure you got it Chlo?” asks a female teen’s voice. “Yeah! I got it! Rachel showed me earlier too!” responded a little girl's voice. The screen then reveals two girls: a 17-year-old strawberry blonde with her hair held back by a white headband and wearing a pink hoodie and a 7-year-old blonde girl with her blonde hair down and wearing a pink t-shirt. The younger girl then sits on top of the older girl’s lap. “So this is your first time on the blog!” smiles the 17-year-old. “You ready?!” The sm

Seashore Scandal Ummm...so what’s up guys?! My name is Aubrey Hughes and I’m a 17 year old high school student from Blue Waters Florida. I live with my parents Greg and Meghan as well as my 3 sisters Rachel, Riley, and Chloe. I like to describe myself as outgoing, passionate, persistent, and an optimist. For a little while now, my sisters and I have formed a junior detective group with help from my parents and the BWPD. Recently, my sisters have seen their fair share of being damsels in distress, last time at the formal that Rachel and Riley went to at their middle school. Although we've had support from Mom and Dad, this would b

"Vampire-A-Thon: It Sucks!" Inside the computer loft in her large bedroom, a 14-year-old brunette girl wearing a blue hoodie, sandals, and a pair of thin jeans logged onto her desktop computer and connected to VidStream TV Live. The teen then abruptly left the loft and her bedroom and rushed back downstairs. Downstairs in the kitchen, an 11-year-old light brunette with hair tied back opened the fridge and pulled out a can of soda. She had just pulled off the tab when a slightly taller blur rushed past her, grabbed a bunch of things out of the fridge and nearby pantry, and sped back upstairs. The smaller girl was confused and followed her si

The Drug Dealer's Dance The video monitor shakes a bit before it comes into focus revealing the figure of a 5’3” 14 year old teen girl with hazel eyes and brunette hair dyed blue at the tips. Written from Rachel’s POV Ugh, I finally got my video monitor up and running after having a hard time getting it connected to my computer! Oh, by the way, my name’s Rachel! I’m a 14 year old 8th grader at Blue Waters Central Middle School. I’m a DIY and travel blogger, and I have 3 sisters named Aubrey, Riley, and Chloe. In my spare time, I enjoy blogging and doing online tutorials with my sisters such as hair styles

“Oh come on Chloe, get something different this time! That chicken must be getting old!” laughed Riley as Chloe grunted. “It’s not old! It’s good!” the 7 year old insisted as their vehicle turned onto Channel Shore Drive. In the front seat of the 6-seat blue Hyundai, Meghan laughed at her younger daughters’ banter. She knew that Chloe didn’t like fish that much. The mother of 4 was wearing a pair of black women’s pants and a light green top with her hair pulled up in its usual bun. Next to her, 17 year old Aubrey was typing away on her phone. The teen was clad in a pink hoodie, grey shor

Beep! Beep! Beep! Smash! “Gah! Watch the lamppost!” cried Ray as a snowplow accidentally took out a lamppost on the manor’s drive. Around the snowplow, several state police cruisers had arrived to take away William and the goons that Aubrey, her sisters, Ray, Faith, Violet, and Giles had trapped in the basement. The nor’easter had been over for about a day and EMS crews had finally been able to plow their way up to Monnier Manor. The accompanying engineers also restored both the manor’s power and internet connections. Upstairs in her room, Aubrey had just finished packing the last of her things. The 17 year old

Aubrey, Rachel, Riley, and Chloe struggled to get loose but no amount of tugging, straining, or muffled yelling could get them free. Now, the 4 siblings sat in the basement storage room wrists crossed behind their backs, ankles lashed together, ropes around their waists, and puffed out, bulging cheeks as they tried to talk to each other but anything they said was totally muffled and incoherent. “Mmmmpppphhhh mmpphh mmpphh” Aubrey tried saying as she made up and down movements with her wrists. Around her, her siblings looked at her in confusion. “Mmmppphhh?” asked Chloe softly through her packed mouth trying to ask h